Serial Killer
by radpineapple
Summary: This is just a compilation of short stories about Harley Quinn and the Joker based on the song "Serial Killer" by Lana Del Rey. I would highly encourage you to listen to that song before reading this.
1. One True Love

One True Love

 **A/N:** **Hello everyone. This is just a compilation of short stories about Harley Quinn and the Joker based on the song "Serial Killer" by Lana Del Rey. I would highly encourage you to listen to that song before reading this.**

 **There is no established timeline. The stories all occur at different times. I will try to make it clear before each story when it occurs. Thank you for reading and please review!**

 **This is my first time writing the Joker and Harley Quinn and light romance. Please tell me how it is so I can improve. I will try to post a story every two weeks, but you know how life gets, but I will try my best to stay on schedule.**

 **Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. It means so much to me! Have a great day!**

 **Time of Story: This story takes place when Harley Quinn ( Quinzel) is "helping" the Joker while he is in Arkham Asylum.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own DC comics or "Serial Killer" by Lana Del Rey.**

 _Wish I may, wish I might_

 _Find my one true love tonight._

 _Do you think that he_

 _Could be you?_

Everything was going by so quickly. Doctor Harleen Quinzel could hardly believe that she had finally become a psychiatrist, been hired to work in Arkham Asylum, and had been assigned to the Joker. Most of her achievements were due to her beauty and her charm. She had basically manipulated her way into her position. This, unfortunately, meant Harleen Quinzel was a bit inexperienced for her position. Harleen didn't think so, rather, she didn't know so. She believed that she had earned her job. Granted, it was not by ordinary means, but she had earned it.

Harleen walked confidently into Arkham that morning. Her red high heels clicked loudly as she walked down the hallway. Harleen pretended not to notice some of the annoyed looks some of the orderlies gave her as she made her way to Doctor Arkham's office. She didn't care if her confidence was annoying, she deserved to be confident; she had been able to make the Joker talk, a feat that no other psychiatrist was able to accomplish.

There was something special about the Joker. It wasn't the fact that he was a homicidal maniac; it was the fact that he seemed to personally care about Harleen. The Joker made Harleen feel something that she had never felt before. He made her feel elated, and after their sessions, Harleen would be noticeably happier the rest of the day. She thought about him often, probably more than she should. She thought about his smile and his crazy laugh. She thought about his green hair and pale skin, but most of all, she thought about his vibrant, blue eyes. Harleen had finally arrived at Doctor Arkam's office, jolting her out of her thoughts about the Joker. She wondered how she always seemed to find herself thinking about him. She opened the doctor's office door.

"Doctor Arkam?" Harleen asked hesitantly as she popped her head in the door.

"Oh, hello, Ms. Quinzel," the doctor said, rising from behind his desk. "Do come in."

Harleen entered the office and sat at one of the chairs in front of Doctor Arkham's desk. He sat down in his chair behind his desk. Harleen smoothed out her red blouse that smartly matched her high heels.

"You wanted to see me?" Harleen asked the doctor, giving him her most innocent smile. She thought she knew what this meeting was about.

"One of the prison guards told me about what you did yesterday."

"Well, doctor, I did a lot of things yesterday," Harleen said innocently. "I think you might have to be a bit more specific."

"You know very well what I am talking about!" Doctor Arkham said sternly.

"Oh," Harleen paused. "That."

"Why would you tell the guards to leave while you were alone in there with him?!"

"That was the only way he would talk to me!" Harleen said defensively, folding her arms across her chest. She twisted her face into a pout. That did the trick.

"Look, Harleen," the doctor said more gently. "I just want you to be careful. You know the Joker is dangerous."

"I know, but I'm really getting somewhere with him. You've read my notes. He's really telling me things that he won't tell anyone else."

Doctor Arkham sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. He looked back at Harleen.

"With all of that to say, I just want you to be more careful because I want you to talk to him more."

Harleen's breath caught in her throat. She sat forward in hopeful anticipation.

"I want you to start having sessions with the Joker twice a week instead of just once."

"Oh, doctor, I –"

Doctor Arkham held up a hand to stop Harleen from talking, "But, Harleen, I want you to promise me something."

"Anything," she said breathlessly.

"Be careful. The Joker is a dangerous. I'm not even sure I should be letting you see him. You are a relatively new psychiatrist."

"Thank you, doctor!" Harleen exclaimed happily. She stood up and held out her hand to shake the doctor's. He stood up, too. He looked at her hesitantly, staring at her out-stretched hand. "Don't worry about me, doctor," she reassured him. "I will be safe." She leaned over and gave him a small peck on the check. "I promise."

The doctor looked at Harleen slightly dazed at the surprise kiss on the cheek that she had given him. She happily buzzed to the door and gave Doctor Arkham one last grateful smile as she closed the door to his office.

Harleen quickly walked down the hallway with a smile on her face. She was thrilled that she could see the Joker more than once a week now. His green hair, ivory skin, and crystal blue eyes filled her thoughts. She was interrupted by a creepy chuckle coming from one of the inmate's cells. The chuckle caused her to slow a little, but she kept on walking, trying to ignore the prisoner until he said,

"He must be a lucky guy," he said to her. This made Harleen stop. Her smile gone now.

"What did you say?" she asked cautiously as she tentatively walked back towards the man's cell.

"I saw the way you were smilin'. They may call me crazy, but I know the look of love from a mile away," he said.

This greatly disturbed Harleen. She wasn't in love! Especially with the Joker! He was one of her patients!

"Like I said," the man said lustfully looking over Harleen. "He must be a lucky guy."

She looked at the man clearly appalled before turning her back on him and briskly walking away. In love? With the Joker? It was impossible! Besides, he didn't feel the same was she did. Or did he? She shook her head. Of course not! She needed to get a grip. The Joker was her patient. Their relationship was strictly professional. Besides, she had never really fallen in love before. She just hadn't really found a guy who clicked with her. She hadn't found what people call "her one true love" yet. Maybe there was no such thing.

But then why did she always think about the Joker? Why did she always feel so good when she saw him? Why did he always make her happy?

Could he be her one true love?


	2. Down the Avenue

Down the Avenue

 **A/N: Time of Story: This is the time span before Batman catches Harley but after Harley jumps into the chemicals.**

 _If I pray really tight,_

 _Get into a fake bar fight,_

 _While I'm walking down the avenue._

The Joker surveyed the bar one last time. The chairs were old, the tables were scratched, and the bar itself was covered in grease and other mysterious fluids. Harley Quinn boredly leaned against the wall to the entrance of the bar.

"You promised me a good bar," the Joker said harshly to a chubby man nonchalantly sitting back in one of the chairs in the bar.

Harley sighed impatiently. When her Puddin' had told her he was taking her out to a bar, this is not what she had in mind. She thought he meant on a date, not to go inspect a bar someone had offered to sell him.

The man shrugged, "If you don't like what you see, you can go find another bar. I can sell to someone else."

Harley knew this was going to be a long night. This man clearly did not research who he had offered to sell his bar to.

"You see," the Joker said. "It's not really the bar that's making me upset."

"Oh, really?" the man said, incredulously.

"You are."

"And why is that?"

The Joker slowly walked up to the man, clearly making him uncomfortable. He slowly circled the man's chair until he was standing directly behind the man. The Joker put one of his hands on one of the man's shoulders.

"What are you - ?" the man started.

In a sudden move, the Joker smoothly pulled a golden knife out of his inside coat pocket with his free hand and held it against the man's flabby neck. The man stiffened. The Joker leaned forward so his breath faintly tickled the top of the man's head, causing the man's hair to sway with the Joker's every breath.

"You lied to me."

"W-what?"

"You said you were selling a nice bar," the Joker said in a voice as smooth as butter. "But that isn't true, is it?" he asked, his voice turning sharp. He pressed the knife a little harder into the man's neck.

"I don't think it's true at all," Harley said. She walked over to the bar and ran a finger over it, "This place is filthy!"

"Well I didn't mean to –" the man began fearfully.

"Didn't mean to what?" the Joker asked.

"Tell us the truth?" Harley said mockingly.

"Look," the man said nervously. "I didn't mean any harm. Can we just forget this ever happened? I'll never mention it to anybody!"

Harley laughed. She walked over to the man and knelt in front of his chair, her eyes never leaving his.

"Did you hear that, Puddin'?"

"I sure did," the Joker answered with a smile.

"I don't think he knows who he's dealing with," she said, intensely staring into the man's eyes. "Do you?" she pointedly asked the man.

The man attempted a gulp, which was extremely difficult with a knife pressed against his throat.

"You've never heard of my Puddin' before?" Harley asked the man.

"Wh-who?"

"Oh, Puddin'!" Harley said in fake surprise, finally looking up at the Joker. "I think he needs to be taught a lesson."

"I agree," the Joker said darkly.

"After we're finished with you," Harley said caressing the man's sweaty face. "You will never forget my Puddin'." She paused and stood up and looked down at the man darkly, "In fact, after we're done with you, no one will ever forget my Puddin'."

Harley Quinn's and the Joker's laughter mixed with the man's screams created an eerie blend of sound that echoed through the bar and bounced down the avenue into the darkness of the night.


	3. What I Love to Do

What I Love to Do

 **A/N: Time of Story: Right before Suicide Squad. Harley is in Belle Reve. This is what might have caused Griggs to torture Harley in Belle Reve. (I still don't know why he'd torture the girlfriend of the Clown Prince of Crime. I feel like one day he's greatly going to regret it.)**

 _If I lay really quiet,_

 _I know that what I do isn't right,_

 _I can't stop what I_

 _Love to do._

Harley Quinn hung suspended in her cell in Belle Reve. She gracefully rested as she hung by what remained of her clothing.

"Mornin', crazy girl," a familiar voice said.

Harley twirled down from her perch and landed on her feet to face the man in front of her. She giggled and gave Griggs a flirtatious wave.

Griggs gave her a sickened look, "What is wrong with you?"

"I don't know what you mean," Harley said cheerily.

"You go around murdering people and yet you act like nothing is wrong. How can you do that?"

"You wanna know a secret?" Harley said seductively.

Griggs raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued.

"If you come closer, I'll tell you."

Griggs made a show of prepping his gun to stun.

Harley sighed impatiently, "Are you coming over or what?"

Griggs took a few steps closer to Harley's cage.

She looked at him unimpressed, "You gotta get closer than that! I'm telling you a secret, remember?"

Griggs hesitated, but reluctantly went all the way over to Harley's cage.

She beamed.

"So, what's the secret?" he asked her.

"Oh, yeah," Harley said excitedly. She looked around as if she was afraid someone might overhear what she was about to say. She leaned closer towards Griggs.

"That's close enough, sweetheart," he said, shoving his gun between them.

"You're no fun," Harley pouted.

"Are you gonna tell me the secret?"

"Well," Harley whispered. "Sometimes, when I'm lying here at night and it's really quiet, I think about all the things that I've done," she confessed.

"Yeah?" Griggs said in a tone that encouraged Harley to continue. He had never seen this side of her before.

"And I realize that," Harley took in a breath. She slowly leaned closer to Griggs, her eyes glistening with tears.

"Hey," Griggs said softly. "It's okay, you can tell me."

Harley gave Griggs a wicked grin, "I realize that I absolutely love what I do and I'd do everything all over again."

Before Griggs could react to this sudden change, Harley grabbed him by one of the straps on his uniform and rammed him into the bars of her cage. He hit his head with a clang. He immediately tore himself from her grip and pointed his gun at her.

"I am going to teach you a lesson, you little witch!"

Harley laughed hysterically and fell back onto her cot.

"When I get back here," Griggs vowed. "You will regret what you've done. _Everything_ you've done!"

Griggs hotly marched away from Harley's cage. Her laughter reverberated off of the concrete walls following Griggs as he shut the door.


	4. Watching Them Fall

Watching Them Fall

 **A/N:** **Time of Story: Soon after Harley jumps into the chemicals. This is just my take on her first murders.**

 _So I murder love in the night,_

 _Watching them fall one by one they fight,_

 _Do you think you'll_

 _Love me too?_

The night club was vacant except for four people. Two of the people, a couple, sat with their hands and mouths bound by duct tape, terrified, in front of the Joker. The Joker sat in front of them, his golden pistol in hand. Harley Quinn impatiently leaned against the pool table behind the Joker while she watched him and the horrified couple. It was obvious that the couple had been beaten. They were both bloody and bruised. The woman was silently crying.

"Now, I'm going to ask you one more time," the Joker said to the man. "And if you say something I don't like," he waved his pistol in the direction of the woman. "She dies. Did you take the money?"

The Joker walked over to the man, who shied away from the Joker. The Joker ripped the duct tape from the man's mouth. The beaten man loudly breathed through his mouth. The Joker shot at the wall just above the man's head, causing both of the hostages to jump.

"I don't have all day!" the Joker yelled, impatiently.

"I-I took the money," the man said breathlessly.

The Joker hit the man across the face with his pistol. The woman cried out.

"So where is it?!" the Joker asked the man.

The man coughed blood. He swallowed, "I don't know."

The Joker raised his arm for another lashing, but the man quickly added,

"But the guy said he worked for Wayne Industries."

"Is that it?"

The man swallowed again. "W-what?"

"Do you have any more information?!"

"Um, well, no," the man said nervously.

The Joker opened his mouth, but something clattered behind him. He spun around. Harley had accidentally knocked over the poles resting on the pool table. He glared at her as she tried to fix them. They clattered to the floor again. He walked over to her and grabbed her by the arm. He pulled her aside.

"What are you doing?! I told you that you could only watch if you didn't interrupt!"

"Puddin', I'm sorry, it's just…" her voice trailed off.

"Just what?!" the Joker asked. He was still furious that she had interrupted him.

"Well, this is kinda boring," she whined.

"Boring?!"

Harley nodded.

The Joker had an idea. He looked over at the bound couple.

"Kill them," he ordered Harley.

"But, Puddin', they told you all they knew! They – "

"Are you deaf?! I said kill them!" the Joker held out his pistol for Harley to take.

Harley looked at it hesitantly and bit her lip. She had never killed anyone before. She had watched her Puddin' kill people, and she had hit a few people, like this couple, for instance, but she had never killed anybody before.

"If I do this, can we do something fun?" she asked the Joker.

"Whatever you want," the Joker promised.

Harley beamed. She grabbed the Joker's pistol, walked over to the couple, shot them both in the head, and walked over to her Puddin', holding out his pistol for him to take.

"Can we go eat dinner at a fancy restaurant?" she asked. "I stole this dress that I think you'll absolutely love!"

The Joker stared at Harley in disbelief for half a moment, and then took back his pistol. He pulled her close and kissed her.

"Puddin!" Harley exclaimed in happy surprise when they pulled apart. "What was that for?"

He gave her a smile, "Now where's this restaurant you were talking about?"

Harley grinned. This was going to be the best night ever.


	5. On the Warpath

On the Warpath

 **A/N: This is before Harley is taken to Belle Reeve.**

 **WARNING: This one is a bit more violent than the others. Nothing M rated, but definitely T.**

 **Also, thank you guys for all of the reviews, favorites, and follows. I really appreciate it! Reviews just make my day.**

 _Baby, I'm a sociopath,_

 _Sweet serial killer,_

 _On the warpath,_

' _Cause I love you_

 _Just a little too much._

 _I love you just_

 _A little too much._

"So," the Joker said to Harley with a wild glint in his eye. "What do you want to do tonight?"

Harley sat across from the Joker in luxurious limo with white plush seats and a mini barista in between them. Harley giggled in excitement and took another sip from her vibrant blue drink.

"We can do anything we want?" she implored.

The Joker's smile widened, "Absolutely anything."

Harley opened her mouth to reply when she was suddenly thrown sideways. She violently hit her head against the opposing side of the limo and saw stars. The metal from the limousine crumpled against her, pinning her down. She struggled to breath and tried to locate the Joker. She did not see him.

"Puddin'," she attempted to call out, but it only came out as a small wheeze. She heard movement nearby and saw four men dressed entirely in black dragging the Joker from the limousine. One of the men stood off at the side, watching them drag the Joker out of the wreckage. The Joker was unconscious, and he had a deep gash across his forehead that was dripping with blood at an alarming rate.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" one of the men in black attire asked. "I mean, I know he killed your brother, but he isn't called the Clown Prince of Crime for nothing."

"We already went over this!" the apparent leader of the group said angrily. "Now, hurry up! We don't have all night!"

Rage pierced through Harley's chest and ran hot through her veins. They could not take her Puddin' away from her! She _wouldn't_ let them take her Puddin' away from her! With her new found energy, Harley squirmed out of the metal that was pinning her down, causing her to scape her left leg across the sharp metal. Blood oozed down from her thigh, caused the blood to run down the length of her leg. This did not deter her from her mission.

Harley picked up a sharp piece of metal from the wreckage from the crash without the men noticing her; they were almost ten feet from the totaled limousine now. Without hesitation, Harley went up behind one of the men who was carrying the Joker. The leader saw her, but he was too late. She swung the piece of metal as hard as she could at the man's head. The metal made a crunching noise as it made contact with the man's head. He immediately crumpled to the ground. The other two men, along with the leader, turned to Harley, and drew their weapons and pointed them at her, but it was no use. She was on the warpath now and nothing could stop her.

The men open fired, but Harley easily avoided their shots with a captivating motion. She spun out of the bullets' path with graceful fluidity. She rolled on the ground towards the first man, and sprang out of her roll while slashing the piece of metal in his direction. The sharp edge caught the man's chest and smoothly sliced through it. He cried out in pain, dropped his weapon, and sank to the ground, clutching his chest in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Harley didn't give him a second glance. She was onto the next man before he even realized what was happening.

She walked up to him with murder in her eyes. Harley dropped him to ground with a roundhouse kick. The man crawled towards his gun, but Harley angrily clubbed him in the face with her hunk of metal and then kicked him in the stomach for good measure. She swung the metal over her shoulder and fixed her eyes on the leader.

"Now, look," he said shakily. He attempted to point his gun at her, but his hands were shaking so badly that he could hardly aim his weapon at her. "I just wanted to teach the clown a lesson. No one has to get hurt here."

"But people are already hurt," Harley said darkly. "You hurt my Puddin', and now I'm going to hurt you."

"No, please!" the man said desperately.

Harley coolly walked towards him. He fired off two shots, but he missed both times.

"You don't have to do this! You don't have t – " Harley hit the man's weapon out of his hands with the piece of metal. He stepped back cautiously.

Harley kicked him in the gut and he doubled over in pain. She ruthlessly banged the piece of metal down against his head. He fell to the ground. She turned him over with her foot, so he was facing her. The man held his hands up in surrender. She dug the heel of her stiletto into his chest, twisting it in deeper until he cried out in pain. In one sleek motion, she suddenly pulled the stiletto from the man's chest and beat him, full force, across the body with her piece of metal.

"Don't," Harley yelled, thumping the piece of metal against the man as hard as she could. "Ever!"

Thump! The man cried out in pain as the metal wracked his body again.

"Touch!"

Thump! He screamed.

"My!"

Thump! "Please stop!" he begged.

"Puddin'!"

Thump! Thump! The man managed a loud groan.

"Ever!"

Thump! Thump! Thump! He groaned softly.

"AGAIN!"

Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! The man lay bloody and bruised on the street. He was no longer conscious and barely alive. Harley panted and looked at her handy work. The man struggled to breathe, and blood pooled out from numerous cuts all over his body. He had already begun to bruise. Harley heard movement behind her and someone groaned. She spun around and raised her weapon. The Joker stirred and attempted to roll over.

"Puddin'!" Harley said, racing over to him, her metal club clattering to the ground. She knelt down beside him and rested his head on her lap. He blinked and tried to focus his eyes on her.

"Harley?"

"I'm right here, Puddin'," she replied softly.

The Joker tried to sit up, "Wh-who did this?"

"Oh, Puddin'," Harley said as she gently pushed him back down. "Don't worry; I took care of 'em."

"You what?" the Joker managed.

Harley shushed him, "Why don't I call Frost to come pick us up?"

The Joker blinked blearily, "Yeah…" He could hardly keep his eyes open.

"Just hold on, Puddin'."


	6. After the Warpath

After the Warpath

 **A/N: This is in response to Hayley's request for the Joker's reaction to how Harley beat up the men in the previous chapter.**

Frost sighed wearily as he slumped in his desk chair in an attempt to get some sort of rest. He hadn't gotten any sleep in the past day, due to the car crash that had nearly incapacitated his boss. Frost scooted his seat forward and looked at his cluttered desk and sighed wearily. The door to his office suddenly opened and the Joker stumbled in.

"Sir!" Frost exclaimed rushing towards his boss. "You should be in bed!"

Frost was about to reach out and assist the Joker when the Joker stopped him with a single glare, "Who did this to me?!"

"Just a small band of petty criminals, Sir," Frost explained worriedly eyeing the Joker.

The Joker roared in anger and circled around the room. "No one can mess with me," he paused when he reached Frost and looked him intently in the eyes. "No one."

"I understand, Sir."

"Then where are they, Frost? They should be at my feet, begging for their worthless lives."

Frost nodded and led the Joker out of his office and to the back storage area of the building. "We have them kept in here," Frost said once they reached the frozen goods storage room.

The Joker burst through the doors, ready to devour his prey. He abruptly stopped as he saw the state of the men. They were all tied to their own chairs. One man obviously had a concussion, which was clearly seen by the giant, swollen bruise on his head and his dilated pupils. He blearily blinked at the Joker confusedly. The second man sat limp in his chair, dried blood covering his black shirt. The Joker noticed a large gash spanning across his chest. The man could have been saved if he had been taken to hospital; instead, he had died in the course of the night. The Joker surveyed the third man. He had a large cut across his cheek accompanied with a bruised lump near the top of his head. He squirmed in fear when he saw the Joker. The Joker flitted his eyes to the fourth man, who was also dead. He was covered in bruises, blood, and cuts that spanned over the entirety of his body. The Joker stormed out of the storage room.

"What happened to them?!" the Joker asked Frost.

Frost hesitated, "Sorry, Sir. I thought you knew."

"Knew what?"

"After you crashed, these men tried to take you, but Harley stopped them."

The Joker paused in disbelief, "Harley did this?"

Before Frost could reply, a voice called out to the Joker.

"Puddin'!" Harley rushed excitedly over to the Joker. "How are ya feelin' today?" she realized the Joker's bewildered expression. "Puddin', what's wrong?"

The Joker opened the storage room and glanced at the broken men, "You did this?"

Harley looked at the floor, "Well, I couldn't have them take you from me." She glanced up at him, "Besides, no one can mess with you, Puddin'. No one. I don't know what these idiots thought they were doin'." Harley desperately searched the Joker's face, "Are you mad?"

The Joker burst out in laughter and walked over to Harley and gave her a long, passionate kiss. When he pulled away, he stared into her face intensely, "You are _sooo_ beautiful."

Harley blushed and sheepishly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked back up at him, passion igniting her eyes. The Joker gently caressed her face with the back of his hand, his eyes matching her own.


	7. Cherry Cola

Cherry Cola

 **A/N: This is during the summer after Suicide Squad occurred. It's a bit fluffy.**

 _You can see me_

 _Drinking cherry cola,_

 _Sweet serial killer._

The summer had just begun. The flowers were in full bloom, releasing their rich, sweet scent. Birds chirped happily, bees lazily buzzed around, and the sun brightly shone from a bright, blue sky. A beach party was in full swing. Music was playing and carried itself through the warm breeze, splashing and laughter could be heard throughout the vicinity, and countless bodies lay on beach towels and beach chairs in hopes of getting a summer tan.

Harley Quinn sighed disheartedly as she reclined in a beach chair, watching all of the happy couples swimming and flirting with each other in the pool. She was wearing fashionable sunglasses and sipping a can of cherry cola through a straw. Her hair was messily put up into two high buns; one red, one blue. She was wearing a bikini that matched her hair perfectly. She sipped through her straw once more before huffing angrily and getting out of her chair. She walked away from the pool and towards the large house behind it.

Harley slid the glass doors open wildly and stomped up the stairs. She went down the hallway and threw open the doors to the Joker's office. A man was bound to a chair in front of the Joker's desk. The Joker was standing in front of the man, and he had his hand raised as if he was about to strike him. The Joker immediately looked at Harley furiously.

"Didn't I make it clear to stay out of my office when I'm working?!" he yelled angrily.

Harley returned the Joker's fiery gaze. Anger burned within the Joker. He walked up to Harley and roughly grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out of his office. He slammed her against the wall and pulled his face right up to hers.

"Never, ever stand up to me!" he cried. He held up his hand to slap Harley across the face.

"Puddin', wait! I miss you!"

The Joker's hand hesitated.

"You're always working," Harley whined. "Why can't you just enjoy yourself for once? You deserve it. Come outside with me."

The Joker grabbed Harley's hair and pulled it against the wall. He brought his face closer to hers,

"Don't ever interrupt me again, understand?"

Harley nodded, "I understand."

He released her hair and looked her over, "I'll be out in five minutes."

Harley beamed and scurried downstairs.

O

The Joker sat down next to Harley on his own beach chair. She turned and smiled at him, bringing the straw to her lips. The sun shone down on Harley, bringing out the blue and the red in her hair against her pale skin. She slurped her cherry cola loudly and then set it down.

"I think it's time for you to learn how to swim," the Joker said mischievously.

"What do you mean?" Harley asked suspiciously.

Without any warning, the Joker picked up Harley and carried her towards the pool.

"Puddin'!" she cried. "What are you –"

The Joker tossed her into the pool and she screamed. He laughed as she immediately sprang up out of the pool and clawed her way to the side. She clutched the edge of the pool and looked up at him in fear. He knelt down beside her.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked, amusement filling his eyes.

"It wouldn't be nearly as bad if you joined me," Harley said, cupping his face.

He opened his mouth to reply, but he was unable to because Harley suddenly grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into the water with her. He burst out of the water, his eyes burning with anger. Harley began laughing, and he attempted to silence her with a splash of water, but that only made her laugh harder. She noticed the Joker's unamused glare.

"Oh, c'mon, Puddin'," she chided. "Have fun!" she gave him a small splash.

He splashed her back. She giggled and splashed him back harder. The Joker smiled and swam over to her. Her eyes widened in surprise and she began to desperately splash at him. He began to laugh and pulled her away from the wall. She held onto him tightly.

"Are you ready?" he asked her.

"Ready for wh –"

The Joker pulled them both under the water and he felt her grip on him tighten. He smiled to himself and then brought them up to the surface again. He looked over at Harley and her face was plastered with fear. He began to laugh. She glared at him, but she couldn't keep a straight face and began to laugh as well.

"Now, aren't you glad I brought you down here?" Harley said, still holding onto him.

He looked down at her and smiled, "What was that? You want to go under the water again?"

"No!" she said and playfully hit him.

He smiled as they descended under the water, but he held her tightly in his arms, making sure he would never lose her again.


	8. A Serial Killer Christmas

Christmas One-Shot

 **A/N: Hello everyone! I apologize for the rather large hiatus between my stories. Life got quite crazy these last few months.**

 **I had originally created this story as part of the Serial Killer series, but it was just way too fluffy. There was snow in it, and I realized that extra snow and fluff was practically Christmas, so I decided to make this a Christmas one-shot. It's a bit OOC, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

 **Merry Christmas!**

Snow swirled through the night sky giving the dark city a nearly magical feel. The snow criss-crossed through the many skyscrapers of Gotham city until it finally nestled on the ground.

Harley Quinn looked out of the window and watched as the snow fell and made its way through the city. She loved the snow. It was so beautiful. She loved the way it sparkled when the sun shone on it just right. She sighed happily. Her breath fogged up the glass. She giggled as she wiped off the fog with her sleeve. The creaking of a door opening sounded behind her, and she glanced behind her shoulder.

The Joker closed the door behind him and walked towards the couch in front of a majestic fireplace with a roaring fire inside. Harley went over to the couch and sat next to him. He was still cold from being outside. She nestled closer to him to warm him. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her against him. She rested her head on his shoulder and stared into the fire peacefully.

The Joker looked at Harley Quinn. She was calm here. She felt comfortable here. Even though they usually participated in deadly activities, he was still able to keep her safe. He doubted anyone thought he was capable of protecting someone. He was even a little surprised himself. This woman next to him made him feel something he had never felt before. She inspired him. He was glad he was capable of keeping her safe.

"If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you go?" Harley suddenly asked him.

The question surprised him, "I like it here." He paused still unsure of why she asked this.

"Oh, c'mon," Harley said, turning to look up at him. "Think of something fantastical! Like, for example, I would like to live in a big tree house in the jungle with just you. It would feel like we were the only two people in the world, and no one would ever bother us." She paused, "Now you go."

He looked at her thoughtfully, "I would like to live in a big mansion. Everyone would know it was mine. It would look like a funhouse, but it could kill you if you displeased me. Everyone would fear me."

"What about me?"

The Joker smiled, "You would live with me in the mansion. No one would be able to touch you because you are mine."

Harley giggled and hugged the Joker.

He hugged her back, but then asked, "Why did you ask?"

"Ask what?"

"Where I wanted to live, don't you like it here?"

"I do, Puddin'," she said, but then hesitated before saying, "but I want to know what you want. So we can do what you want to do."

The Joker looked into Harley's eyes. At first, he thought she was drunk or high or something to be acting this way, but her eyes were sharp and bright with life.

Harley noticed him looking searchingly into her eyes, "What is it, Puddin'?"

The Joker looked at her quizzically, "Why do you care so much?"

Harley looked confused.

"About me?" he clarified.

"Well," Harley began tentatively. "I love you," she timidly looked down and bit her lip. Then she looked back up at him, her eyes shining with the light from the fire, "That's why I care."

The Joker stared at her with an odd expression on his face. His face was a mixture between confusion and an emotion Harley had never seen on his face before; fear.

"Puddin'?"

"No one has _ever_ said that to me."

"Said what?" Harley paused as she realized what he meant, "No one has ever told you 'I love you'?"

He slowly shook his head.

"Well, there's a first time for everything," she said snuggling against him and looking back into the fire.

The Joker looked at her dazedly. He didn't know what he was feeling. His first reaction was to reject this feeling, but he realized he liked it. He slowly wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. She loved him. She _loved_ him. He still couldn't fully comprehend it.

"Harley," he said softly.

She didn't answer. He looked down at her. She had fallen asleep. Her head was resting on his shoulder and she was leaning against him, her arms tightly wrapped around him.

"I love you, too," he whispered.


	9. Love Note

Love Note

 **A/N: I apologize for the hiatus. I am back! I hope you enjoy!**

 _I left a love note,_

 _Said you know I love_

 _The thrill of the rush._

 _You know I love_

 _The thrill of the rush._

The Joker walked into the kitchen. It had been a late night; it was so late that it had become an early morning. He hadn't seen Harley at all the previous night, and it appeared that she had already left for the club. As he walked into the kitchen, something caught his eye. A sheet of bright pink paper was hung on the refrigerator. He took it down and immediately recognized Harley's bubbly handwriting scrawled across the pink paper in an inky blue.

Puddin',

I missed you last night. You work so hard. You need to take a break.

I'm already at the club.

Love,

Harley Quinn

XOXO

He smiled. Taking a break wouldn't hurt.

O

Harley missed her Puddin'. She had missed him all day yesterday, and she missed him again today. When she saw him enter the club that night, her heart skipped a beat, and she raced towards him.

"Puddin'!" she shouted excitedly and hugged the Joker tightly.

He laughed his signature laugh that haunted the dreams of many, but made Harley blush.

"I have a surprise for you," he said mysteriously.

She gasped in excitement, "Puddin'!"

The Joker took her by the hand and led her outside of the club. She squealed in excitement.

"Oh, Puddin'," Harley said. "I love it!" She raced towards the purple Lamborghini parked outside of the club.

The Joker took out the keys and unlocked the Lamborghini, "Let's go for a ride."

Harley beamed and got into the passenger seat.

The Joker started the sports car, and it roared to life.

Harley turned to her Puddin' in breathless anticipation. She felt as if anything could happen. The purr of the engine reminded her of its intense power, and the luminescence of the twinkling city lights caused the Joker's eyes to sparkle. He looked at her and stomped on the gas pedal.

Harley laughed in excitement along with the Joker as they raced through Gotham city.


	10. Thrill of the Rush

Thrill of the Rush

 _Sweet Serial Killer,_

 _Do it for the thrill of the rush,_

 _Love you just a little too much._

"What are we doing, Puddin'?" Harley asked in excitement. She sat across from the Joker in a luxurious limousine. He hadn't told Harley where they were going.

"Well," the Joker replied. "This is your first night at the club. I want you to look spectacular!"

It had only been a week since Harley had taken a dip in one of the chemical vats at Ace Chemicals, and she was more than ready to have a little fun with her Puddin'. Tonight was the night he was finally letting her go to the club!

Harley clapped her hands in delight, "What am I gonna wear?"

"Why don't you choose?" the Joker said. The limousine came to a stop.

"Where are we?" Harley asked.

The Joker smiled, "Why don't you look outside?"

Harley quickly got out of the limousine and gasped when she saw the store they were parked next to. The Joker stepped out of the car and stood beside Harley.

Harley turned to him in breathlessly, "This store has the greatest dresses!"

"Only the best for you," the Joker replied.

"So, I can buy whatever I want?"

The Joker laughed. "Harley, Harley, Harley," he said as if scolding a child.

"What?"

"We're not _buying_ anything."

"What do you mean, Mister J?"

"We're _stealing_ it."

Harley looked at the store. When she had chosen to follow her heart and run away with the Joker, she had left her old life behind. Starting now.

"Can I have a gun?" she asked.

The Joker looked her over, "You'll have to earn that."

"Then how am I going to – "

The Joker silenced her with a wave of his hand and grabbed something from inside the limousine and handed it to Harley.

"A baseball bat?" Harley asked incredulously.

"A baseball bat," the Joker affirmed. He looked towards the store, "Follow me."

The Joker entered the store with Harley right behind him. Screams filled the store along with the sound of gunshots and laughter. Harley was surprised at how well she seemed to handle the bat. Oddly enough, she had one of the most thrilling nights of her life.

"Puddin'," Harley said as they left the store, her hands full of dresses.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

The Joker smiled and wrapped his arm around her. "You know," he said. "You were quite handy with that bat. Maybe you should keep it."

Harley beamed.

"Now, are you ready to go to the club?" the Joker asked.

"Yes!" Harley exclaimed delightedly.


	11. I Love You Just a Little Too Much

I Love You Just a Little Too Much

 **A/N: I apologize for how short these last few chapters have been. The next few are much longer. This how I imagined Batman discovered who Harley Quinn is.**

 _Sweet Serial Killer,_

 _I love you just a little too much,_

 _Love you just a little too much._

"Where is he?" a dark voice asked harshly.

Harley hung upside down in an ally-way by one of the many various devices that annoying Bat always kept in that very convenient utility belt of his.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Batsy?" she said. "I don't know where he is. Honest!"

"I'll ask you one more time," Batman asked deeply. "Where is the Joker?"

Harley sighed boredly, "Look, I'm telling you, I don't know!"

"You don't have to do anything for him, Doctor Quinzel."

"Doctor Quinzel!" Harley said as if Batman had said a funny joke. She began to laugh.

"I know the Joker was your patient; you don't have to do anything for him."

"I know," Harley said between giggles.

"Then stop lying and tell me where he is! You don't have to be afraid. I can protect you from him!"

Harley's laughter intensified, but she eventually caught her breath. "You don't get it, do you, Batsy?" she finally said.

Batman looked cryptically at Harley, his expression masked behind his cowl.

"I _love_ him."

Batman studied her for a moment, "What?"

"I love him. I love the Joker."

"He's a deranged psychopath, Doctor Quinzel!"

"I know what he is!" she said, her voice rising. "And stop calling me Doctor Quinzel!"

"That's your name, isn't it? Doctor Harleen Quinzel."

A smile appeared on Harley's lips. "Not anymore," she said. "My name is Harley Quinn."


	12. Maybe I'll Go out Tonight

Maybe I'll go out Tonight

 _My black fire's burning bright,_

 _Maybe I'll go out tonight._

Harley was in a mischievous mood tonight. She didn't know if part of it was because her Puddin' was gone on business, or if she just had a little too much to drink. She was in the Joker's night club dancing her heart away. This night, however, instead of dancing on a podium for everyone to see, she was dancing in the crowd. She was being especially playful by flirtatiously dancing with an attractive man for a song or two and then going off to find another. It was so easy for her now to toy with people, and she enjoyed every bit of it.

Harley was dancing through the crowd, looking for her next target, when she saw him. He was wearing a black leather jacket, black jeans, black leather boots, and a white shirt. He wasn't dancing like everyone else. She was going to change that.

Harley rhythmically plodded to his side and then leaned on the wall right next to him. He turned to her with piercing brown eyes. Harley playfully bit her lip and ran the back of her hand slowly down his shoulder until their hands met. She had his full attention now. She let her hand linger next to his, their fingers barely touching.

"Don't you wanna come dance?" Harley asked him, looking into his eyes with a pretend longing.

He stared at their hands. His fingers twitched, and then he slowly closed his hand around hers.

"Not really," he finally said. His voice was deep but very smooth.

Harley frowned and gave him a look full of sadness. "Why not?" she asked in fake offense, still staring into his eyes.

"Well," he said pulling her hand to chest and looking deeply into her eyes. "Wouldn't you like to come somewhere else?"

Harley giggled, "Like where?"

He gave her a mysterious smirk, "It's a surprise."

Harley hesitated. If she was gone with another man when her Puddin' came back…

"What's wrong?" the man asked, noticing Harley's hesitation.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she finally said. The man frowned. Harley wouldn't have that, so she drew closer to him, "But we can stay here."

"But you don't want that, do you? I can see the fire in your eyes. You want to go out; you want to do something."

Harley had gotten carried away in trying to get this man to come dance with her that she had let her guard down. This man was right. She wanted to go out, but just not with him.

"I just bought a new motorcycle," he said, realizing he was getting to her. "Do you want to test it out?"

"Yes," Harley said honestly.

"Then let's go," he said, leading her towards the doors of the club.

They were still holding hands when they left the club and the night air surrounded them. He led her to the nearby parking lot and to a black motorcycle. When Harley saw it, she let go of his hand and raced towards it.

"It's beautiful!" she exclaimed, running her hand along its shiny body. "It doesn't have much color, though," she added.

He shrugged as he walked to her side, "I prefer black."

"So how does it work?" she asked, climbing onto the motorcycle without his permission.

"Uh, well, I thought I'd drive you," he said, clearly uncomfortable with Harley sitting on his motorcycle.

Harley giggled, "You can still show me how it works."

He walked over to Harley still uncomfortable with her on his bike.

"This is how you start it, you use these to steer, but you also need to move your hips when you turn, and these gage the speed, gas, and mileage," he said brusquely.

"So I start it like this?" Harley asked and the motorcycle roared to life.

"Whoa! Hey! I thought I was going to drive!"

Harley laughed maniacally as she quickly drove away from him on his motorcycle.

"Hey!" he called back, running after her. "That's mine!"

His calls quickly faded as Harley sped away. She wove through the streets of Gotham, her laughing never ceasing. She hadn't had this much fun in so long! Harley raced through the city until she almost ran out of gas, and then she finally returned to the night club a few hours later. She was completely exhilarated and her hair and clothes were windswept from her crazy night driving. She drove into the parking lot and crookedly parked the motorcycle. She climbed off of the bike, still smiling.

Harley began to approach the night club, but something was wrong. There was no music and no flashing lights. She walked faster and burst through the doors. The night club was almost completely empty with only a single light on in the center of the club. The Joker sat slumped in one of the empty tables by himself with a drink in his hand. He looked up when Harley entered the room and pointed a gun in her direction.

"Puddin'?" Harley asked.

The Joker realized who it was and immediately put his gun away and stood up from the table.

"Where have you been?!" he asked her angrily.

Harley walked closer to the Joker and noticed a dead body on the floor. It was the man whose motorcycle she stole.

"Where were you?" the Joker asked, but this time his voice sounded more worried than angry.

"Relax, Puddin'," Harley reassured him as she stepped over the body and finally reached the table where the Joker stood. "I just took a little ride."

The Joker suddenly grabbed Harley and she thought he was going to hit her, but instead, he pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I thought I lost you," he whispered.

"Oh, Puddin', don't worry about me. I won't get lost," Harley said. "Besides, how could I get lost with you around?"

She looked up at him and gave him a reassuring smile. He smiled back and hugged tightly her once more.


	13. Blue

Blue

 **A/N: This is probably my fluffiest story so far. Enjoy!**

 _We can paint the town_

 _In blue._

Harley Quinn sat breathlessly at one of the tables in the Joker's nightclub. She had been dancing all night, and she was taking a short break. She took another sip of her light blue drink, but couldn't help but feel disappointed. It was her second year anniversary with her Puddin', and he forgot. The day was almost at an end, and she had barely seen him all day. Her thoughts were interrupted when someone sat in the seat next to her.

Harley beamed, "Hey, Puddin'!"

"You wanna go do something else?" the Joker asked with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

Harley immediately perked up, "Yes!"

The Joker took her by the hand and led her out the back doors of the club. They were met by the crisp night air. Harley followed the Joker as they went into the parking lot. He took her to a bright blue convertible.

"Oh, Puddin', I love it!" Harley said as she bounded towards the car.

She got into the passenger side and the Joker got into the driver's seat and started the car. Harley squealed in excitement. The Joker laughed insanely and sped out of the parking lot, the car's tires screeching as he did so. The Joker turned on the radio, so it blasted through the streets as he easily wove the convertible through traffic.

Harley was having the time of her life. She loved feeling the wind through her hair and she loved seeing the lights of the city blurring past her. She put her hands into the air and screamed in joy. This burst of energy caused the Joker to laugh even harder, and he drove the car faster. They drove to the outskirts of town near the train tracks and the Joker parked the car.

He grabbed a bag from the backseat, took something out from inside of it, and tossed it to Harley. Harley caught it and inspected it. It was a blue spray can. Harley looked up at the parked train cars on the old track and smiled at the Joker. They both raced out of the car, laughing, as they ran over to the train cars.

They both began to decorate the cars with artful graffiti. Harley drew swirly hearts and playful skulls while the Joker drew haunting faces and disturbing words with his green paint all over the idle train cars.

"Oh, Puddin'," Harley said when they were inspected their finished work. "This is fantastic!"

"You didn't think I'd forget, did you?" the Joker said walking over to the car.

"Forget what?" Harley said, trailing behind him.

The Joker started the car and turned on the radio to a slow song.

"Well, our anniversary of course," he said taking Harley by the waist and pulling her into a slow dance.

Harley placed her hands on his shoulders and looked up at the Joker. She inspected every inch of his face. She looked into his clear blue eyes. She never wanted to forget him.

"Honestly, Puddin', I thought you _did_ forget."

"I could never forget you," he said returning her gaze with his electric blue eyes.

Harley held on to her Puddin' as they danced; she never wanted this moment to end.

 **A/N: I don't know why, but when the Joker turned on the radio I imaged "Crazy=Genius" by Panic! At the Disco to be playing. It just seemed fitting.**

 **Also, thank you for your reviews, favorites, and follows! Those truly make my day! You guys are amazing!**


	14. Dancing in the Dark

Dancing in the Dark

 **A/N: Thank you guys for the continued support! It makes my day to see that someone took the time to read my work! Thank you for your favorites, follows, and especially the reviews. Truly, they mean so much to me!**

 _I'm so hot, I ignite,_

 _Dancing in the dark and I shine._

 _Like a light I'm_

 _Luring you._

Harley pulled a dress out of the duffel bag that was on her bed and critically inspected it. When she was robbing the store last night, she didn't really have time to look at it. It had dark patterned lacing that spread across the bodice and down the sleeves that cut off at the elbows. The dark lace at the bodice swirled into a deep red at the end of the knee-high dress. Harley decided to try it on. After she put it on she inspected how it looked on her. She thought it looked okay; she didn't look great, but she didn't look terrible. She put on some make-up to match the colors of the dress. Harley came out of the bathroom and walked across her room to the door. She hesitated. She didn't want to go to the club just yet. She needed to practice dancing before everyone saw her in her new dress. Harley decided to go onto the roof.

0

The Joker waited for Harley downstairs. He wondered what was taking her so long. He knew that she got a new dress last night and that she was probably trying it on for the first time. He knew how she was, and he knew he should probably be patient.

The Joker sighed and looked at the clock. It was getting late, and it was already dark outside. He decided to go check on Harley. He walked up the stairs to her room, but saw that the door was open, and the room was empty. He walked into her vacant room and saw that the window was open. It looked like she went onto the roof. The Joker clambered out the window and climbed onto the roof.

The Joker looked across the roof and his breath caught in his throat. She looked absolutely beautiful.

Harley's elegant figure danced against the twinkling of the city lights. She seemed to be illuminated by the light of the full moon. Harley was wearing an amazing dress that beautifully showed her curves, but didn't reveal much, making the Joker want her even more. The swirling black lace went down her body and faded into a deep red. She danced in slow graceful movements. He had never seen her dance like that. He was totally captivated by her.

Harley ornately twirled around and her eyes landed on the Joker. She smiled when she saw him, and the Joker felt weakened. He didn't realize how much she meant to him. He slowly walked up to her.

"You look beautiful," he finally said once he had reached her.

Harley shrugged and looked down at her dress, "It's okay." She looked back up at the Joker, "Are you ready to go?"

He wanted to tell her no. He just wanted it to be the two of them. He didn't want anyone else looking at her. She was his.

The Joker hesitated.

But then again, he could show her off. He held out his arm for Harley to take. He wanted everyone to know that his harlequin was also a queen. Harley smiled at the Joker one last time before they went back inside.


	15. Am I What Your Heart Desires?

Am I What Your Heart Desires?

 **A/N: Time of Story: This one is before Suicide Squad. Sorry this one is so short.**

 _Sneak up on you, really quiet,_

 _Whisper, "Am I what your heart desires?"_

Harley quietly strolled over to where the Joker sat, clearly exhausted, in a chair next to an empty table. The night had just ended, and Harley could tell it had been a hard night by the number of dead bodies that lay on the floor. The Joker had killed a few more than usual that night. Business was not going well. She was determined to cheer him up. She slyly walked towards him, her stilettos quietly clicking across the floor. When she reached him, she smoothly trailed her hand along his back and then sat on top of the table in front of him. She gave him a timid smile, her eyes dancing with playful delight. The Joker quickly downed the rest of his drink. He looked wearily up at her. Harley flicked her eyes downward in flirtatious bashfulness.

The Joker looked her over. She was beautiful, just sitting there, with her club attire on and her colorful makeup artfully styled on her face. He was very tired, and it was hard for him to think straight, especially when he looked at Harley's dazzling form.

Harley slowly caressed the back of her hand down the Joker's arm. She enjoyed watching the desire suddenly spark to life in his eyes. He looked up at her with intensity and pulled her arm, so she came closer to him. Harley put her face inches apart from his. He breathlessly stared at her, desire chipping away at his weariness. He slowly leaned in closer, but Harley suddenly pulled back. The Joker frowned at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked her.

"You could have anyone; am I the one you truly want?"

Drowsiness muddled the Joker's thoughts, and he realized how vulnerable he was. He also realized how much he actually _did_ want her.

"Yes," he said. "You are mine, and I chose you. No one else can have you."

Harley beamed and leaned in, giving the Joker the kiss he had been waiting for.


	16. Ingenue

Ingénue

 **A/N: Ingenue – noun; the part of an artless, innocent, unworldly girl or young woman, especially as represented on the stage.**

 _I could be your_

 _Ingénue._

Harley Quinn strolled into the empty club. It wasn't even noon, so the club was not open yet. The Joker sat angrily at one of the tables sharpening a knife.

"Puddin'?" Harley asked tentatively, noticing the Joker's foul mood.

He ignored her and continued to sharpen his knife. Harley slowly drew nearer and noticed a dead man on the floor next to the table where her Puddin' sat.

"Oh, Puddin'," Harley said sympathetically. "What happened?"

The Joker finally looked up at Harley, "I'm afraid we won't be able to go on our heist tonight."

Harley knew the Joker had been planning this event for nearly a month, "Oh, no! Why not?!"

"Some of the equipment we were promised won't be here," he said sourly. Harley looked down at the dead man and knew he was the one who had failed to deliver the equipment. That's what he deserved for disappointing her Puddin'.

"What equipment?" Harley asked.

"It doesn't matter now," the Joker said bitterly.

"C'mon, Puddin', I think we can get a simple piece of equipment without help."

"You don't understand!" the Joker said exasperatedly, his voice rising. "The equipment is in Wayne Industries. It's heavily guarded. We can't just break into the technological facility on such short notice!" He angrily stabbed his knife into the table.

"Don't worry, Puddin'," Harley said as she sat next to the Joker, attempting to calm him. "We'll think of something."

"Sorry, Harls," the Joker said. "But it's just not gonna happen."

The Joker's assistant came into the room. "Sir," he said to the Joker. "A client is on the phone."

The Joker stood up and followed his assistant to the phone.

Harley sighed and plucked the Joker's knife from out of the table. She didn't like seeing him like this. She was going to do something about this. He had been working so hard for this heist and it was all blown to pieces by one man. Harley glanced down at the dead man. She had an idea.

O

Harley walked into the technological wing of Wayne Industries wearing the dead man's lab coat. She walked through the doors of Wayne Industries with all of the confidence in the world. She was supposed to be here. She was just another technician.

Harley had pulled her hair back in a messy bun with loose curls swirling around her face. She readjusted her round glasses and walked to the front desk.

"Hello," Harley said innocently to the woman behind the counter. She didn't even look up.

"What do you need?" the woman said, her eyes glued on the computer.

"Can you direct me to the engineering wing, please?" Harley asked, her voice as smooth as butter.

The woman finally looked up, "Who are you?"

"I'm the new intern."

"What's your name?" the woman asked, clicking her mouse a few times.

"I'm probably not in the records yet."

The woman looked up at Harley suspiciously.

"Today's my first day," Harley said, giving the woman a bright smile. "But I have a lab coat," Harley said gesturing to her attire.

"Alright," the woman said after a short pause. "But you need to be in the records by next week. The engineering center is down the hall; it's the fifth door on the left."

"Thank you!" Harley said, flashing the woman another smile. She happily walked down the hallway towards the engineering center.

O

Harley walked back into the club a few hours later. It had been relatively easy playing intern all day. She easily stole the equipment that the Joker needed for his heist tonight. The lead engineer had easily fallen into her trap and she easily took what she needed because he was too distracted by her flirtatious manner. Of course, she had also purposefully ruined some of the experiments when no one was looking. That was quite entertaining. It was fun to watch them all scramble to fix the destruction she had caused.

"What are you wearing?" an accusatory voice said from behind her.

Harley turned around, "Hey, Puddin'!"

The Joker eyed her suspiciously. "You look like Harleen Quinzel," he said angrily. "Not my Harley Quinn."

Harley laughed playfully as she took out her bun. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders and beautifully framed her face, "I'm still your Harley Quinn, Puddin'; I just needed Harleen to get something for you."

The Joker looked at her quizzically, "What do you mean?"

Harley pulled out the equipment from the inside pocket of her lab coat and handed it to the Joker.

The Joker stared at the items in disbelief for a solid moment before taking them from Harley.

"You…" he started, unsure of what to say. "How?"

Harley shrugged modestly, "Persuasion."

The Joker stared at the equipment again and then looked at Harley's outfit, "You went to Wayne Industries?"

"Um, yeah," Harley said hesitantly, unsure if her Puddin' was angry with her.

"You did this for me?"

"Puddin'," Harley said slightly offended. "I would do anything for you."

The Joker suddenly grabbed Harley, and for half a moment Harley was sure he was going to reprimand her for doing something behind his back, but instead he pulled her into a warm embrace.

"What did I do to have someone like you?" he whispered as he hugged Harley even tighter.


	17. Fantasies

Fantasies

 _Keep you safe and inspired,_

 _Baby, let your fantasies unwind._

 _We can do what you_

 _Want to do._

Doctor Harleen Quinzel hurriedly walked downstairs. She was almost late for her session with the Joker. She was furious when there had been traffic on her way to work – all she seemed to live for these days were her sessions with him. She reached the bottom of the stairs and rushed to the room where she had her sessions. She quickly flashed her ID to the guard and walked into to the room. The Joker sat wearing a strait jacket, waiting for her when she entered. He smiled when he saw her.

"Hello, doctor," he said charmingly.

"Hello, Mr. J.," Harleen replied as she sat down. She quickly brushed the stray strands of hair from her face and looked up at him.

The Joker smiled at his nickname. "You were almost late today," he noted returning her gaze.

"Ah, yes. Sorry about that. Traffic was terrible today," Harleen said, looking down at her file and opening it. "Today we're gonna try something new."

The Joker raised an eyebrow, "Something new? What's wrong with what we were doing?"

Harleen sensed the rising anger in his tone, "Look, it wasn't my idea. They want us to try a new method to see if that will help to improve you."

The Joker laughed, sending chills up Harleen's spine, "They think they can improve _me_?"

Harleen ignored him and flipped through a few pages in her file, "What is it that you want, Mr. J?"

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, doc."

"What is it that you truly want?"

The Joker looked at her like she had grown a second head, "What do you think I want?! I want to get out of here!"

"I told them this wouldn't work," she muttered. "You're supposed to tell me your dreams, Mr. J. Like in an ideal world, what would you be doing?"

"Well, doc, that's a hard one," he paused. "Why don't you go first?"

Harleen hesitated. "Alright," she said reluctantly. "I want a life where I am safe and I have a family who loves me. Someday I want to marry the perfect man and maybe even have a couple children with him."

"Well, that's really nice."

Harleen looked up at him, "You think so? Uh, I mean, what is your dream, Mr. J.?"

He smiled at her, "One day, I'd like to live in a big house. I would have everything I'd ever want. No one would ever disrespect me. Everyone who had ever crossed me would die slow, terrible deaths. I would do the killing, of course. The Bat would be an exception. I would find out who he was and kill everyone and everything he loves. He would not die; he would have to live knowing the death of his loved ones and the destruction of this city were all his fault."

"You mentioned getting respect. Did you ever feel particularly disrespected to have this need for respect?"

The Joker looked at Harleen darkly, "If you have been treated the way I have, and saw the things that I have seen, and heard the things that I have heard, you would be like me, too."

Instead of looking horrified, Harleen looked concerned, "I'm so sorry you feel this way Mr. J. Is there anything I can do?"

The Joker smiled. He knew her had her just where he wanted, but he couldn't rush things, "There's nothing you can do for me. You're just perfect."

Harleen beamed, but tried to conceal her happiness by biting her lip. She looked down at her file, "Well, just let me know, Mr. J., if there is anything you need to talk about."

"Oh, don't worry. I'll let you know."


	18. Chapter 18

_Baby, I'm a sociopath,_

 _Sweet serial killer._

 _On the warpath,_

 _'Cause I love you_

 _Just a little too much._

 _I love you just_

 _A little too much._

The man was tied to a chair. His mouth was bleeding and sore from the teeth that had been roughly extracted with pliers. He had a nasty gash stretching the length of his forehead, and he wheezed loudly, his ribs obviously broken and inhibiting his ability to breathe well. He was shaking with fear and his eyes sparkled with tears.

The Joker circled the man hungrily like a vulture circling its next victim. He gently slid his arm up the bound man's shoulder while he continued to circle him. The Joker stopped, so he was directly behind the terrified man, out of eyesight. He knelt down behind the man, so his breath tickled the back of the man's neck.

"I'm giving you a chance to talk," the Joker said quietly, moving his hands along the man's shoulders in a rough massage. "Don't let me regret it. What did you learn?"

The man swallowed, "Mr. Joker, sir, I –"

The Joker moved his hands to the man's neck and squeezed, cutting him off. "What did you learn?" the Joker growled. He took his hands away from the man's throat.

The man gasped for breath. "I-I learned not to lie to you."

"And?"

"To always pay you on time."

"Good," the Joker said, patting the man's back. "Good."

"It won't happen ever again," the man said. "I promise."

"Oh, I know," the Joker said darkly. He walked in front of the man and took out one of his golden pistols, "I'll make sure of it."

The man's eyes widened, "No, please! Give me another chance! I – "

The door behind the Joker suddenly opened, and Harley stumbled in with a drink in hand, giggling uncontrollably.

The Joker whipped around, fury erupting through his chest.

"HARLEY!" the Joker roared. "What have a told you about interrupting me?!"

"You said not to," Harley slurred. "But I just _had_ to see you."

The Joker looked back at the man then quickly shot him in the head. He faced Harley again, his eyes full of fire.

Harley pointed at the dead man and laughed. She realized the Joker wasn't laughing with her, and she looked up to him.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked.

He reached her in two large steps and angrily pinned her against the wall.

"Now, why would I be mad?" he said softly, which was scarier than when he was shouting at her.

A dash of fear suddenly lit Harley's intoxicated eyes, "I just wanted to see you."

"Well, I don't want to see you!" the Joker shouted. He backed up and gestured at the door, "You're lucky I have a lot going on tonight. I'll deal with you later."

Harley looked ashamedly at the ground and walked out of the door. She kept walking until she reached the door to the club and walked outside. The cold, sharp air focused her mind a little bit. She walked across the parking lot, tears trailing down her face despite her effort to stop them. She reached the other side of the parking lot and sat down against the wall. She closed her eyes and let the cold of the night surround her and bring her back to reality.

"Well, well, well," a hungry voice said. "What do we have here."

Harley quickly looked up.

O

The Joker couldn't concentrate. His mind was on Harley. Why did she always occupy his thoughts?! He growled angrily. The man sitting across from him in his private booth tensed. The Joker was supposed to be working out a deal or something with this man, but he had been too distracted to take any notice.

"We can always do this another day," the man said.

"No, no," the Joker reassured. "We can do this today."

The sound of gunshots sounded from outside the club. The Joker sighed and looked in the direction of where the shots came.

"Excuse me," he told his guest.

Frost suddenly appeared at the Joker's side.

"What?" the Joker asked annoyedly. This night was not going how he wanted it to at all.

"Sir," Frost said. "Harley is out there."

For one moment, time stopped. Harley was out there in the middle of the night broken and afraid because of him. He had angrily spewed meaningless words at her because he had been annoyed. Now she might be dead. The Joker immediately grabbed his pistols and raced towards the nearest exit. He burst out the door and pointed his guns into the parking lot.

The Joker noticed two burly men passed out by the opposite wall of the parking lot. A sound caught his attention, and he saw Harley strolling across the parking lot. He felt as if a huge weight was lifted off his chest.

"Harley!" he said, putting his pistols away.

Harley slowed when she saw him. He ignored it and quickly approached her. As he neared, the Joker saw that her nose was bleeding.

"Puddin'," Harley said once they were a few feet away. She wiped her nose, "Are you mad?"

The Joker quickly closed the gap between them until they were a few inches apart. He cupped her face in his hand and inspected her nose. It looked like she'd be alright.

"Harley," he said quietly, pulling her into an embrace. "I'm not mad at you."

"You're not?" she asked.

"How could I stay mad at you?" he said.

He couldn't answer that question. Every time she annoyed him or angered him in any way, it never lasted. He could easily keep the flame of hatred alive. Batman was a prime example. But with Harley, he couldn't stay mad at her for long.

The Joker felt Harley's arms squeeze him tightly. She buried her head in his chest. The Joker felt how fragile she was. Yes, she was his harlequin, but she was also just human. It wouldn't take much to kill her. His eyes landed on the men at the back of the parking lot, and he held her tighter.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

 **A/N: I apologize for the delay! I've been getting more busy, and then I discovered the amazing show Constantine and couldn't stop watching. Thank you for the continued support!**

 **I also apologize if some of the formatting is off. My computer is being weird, so I had to copy and paste this chapter.**

 **Swagasaurus Rex: This chapter and the next chapter will be relatively short, but I plan on the last chapter being longer. (So, there are only three chapters left.)**

 _Sweet serial killer,_

 _Do it for the thrill of the rush,_

 _Love you just a little too much, much._

 _Sweet serial killer,_

 _I love you just a little too much,_

 _Love you just a little too much, much._

The strobe lights flashed and twirled in a multitude of colors, giving the club a magical feel. Music thumped through the speakers and people danced their problems away. Harley loved it here. She loved the dancing. She loved the attention. But most of all, she loved seeing her Puddin' at ease. No one ever questioned him here. No one ever disrespected him here. Everyone obeyed him here.

The sound of caustic laughter caught Harley's attention. She looked over to one of the booths and saw a group of men dressed in leather. They weren't dancing. They were just sitting together at a table. Harley would change that.

"Hello, boys!" Harley chimed as she neared their table.

"Well, well, well," one of the men said. "What do we have here?"

Harley giggled, "Are you gonna come dance?"

The man leered at her, "I would with you."

Another man beside him rolled his eyes, "Just another example of how women just use their bodies to get what they want."

Harley suddenly became still and frowned, "What did you say?"

"You heard me," the man retorted, coolly sipping his beer.

"That's not true, you know. I can do anything you can," she said plainly, her voice steady.

"Oh, really?" the man asked incredulously. "Can you ride a motorcycle?"

"Yeah."

"Race me," he challenged. "Then I'll prove that you're wrong."

"Deal," Harley said extending her hand for the man to shake.

"The race begins in ten minutes," he said, shaking her hand.

O

Harley was lined up on her shiny motorcycle decorated with swirls of pink and blue sparkly paint, outlined with serpentine hearts and curly skulls next to the man who had challenged her. He revved his engine menacingly. Harley giggled. He took himself too seriously. His black leather coat, black helmet stenciled with red skulls, and his motorcycle with its high handle bars and flame design was just too much. He needed to lighten up.

"Alright!" one of the men in leather from the table said, grabbing their attention. "Let's do this."

Harley looked back at her opponent and blew him a kiss. She couldn't see his expression from under his helmet, but she saw his shoulders tense up angrily at her gesture.

She smiled.

"On your mark," the other man said.

Harley braced herself.

"Get set."

They both revved their engines.

"Go!"

They both flew past the starting line and raced towards the streets. The goal was to get to the main building of Wayne Enterprises across the city. The two cyclists would have to navigate through the busy nighttime traffic of Gotham as well as avoiding the police and Batman.

They hadn't even gotten out of the parking lot before he had tried to cut her off. They were turning the corner onto the street when he cut right in front of her. Any amateur would have fallen, but Harley easily regained her balance and sped up after him. He only had a slight lead on her, but Harley was used to zipping through traffic and was quickly gaining on him.

There was really only one main way to get to Wayne Enterprises. Of course, there were a few backstreets, but those were usually ridden with potholes and junkies. The fastest way would be to stick to the main road.

It wasn't long before Harley's competitor noticed her gaining. He kept glancing back at her nervously. She was neck-and-neck with him when they were passing the off-ramp from the highway. A large cement truck began to exit the highway from the off-ramp.

The man suddenly grew dangerously close to Harley, causing her to lean towards the cement truck. She tried to get closer to him again, but he pressed a button on his motorcycle, causing flames to eject from the pipes on the sides of his motorcycle. Harley instinctively pulled away and nearly crashed into the truck.

If that was how he wanted it, then she'd go with it. Her Puddin' had her motorcycle custom-made. There was no way this guy's bike was more tricked out than hers. Harley drew near to him again and pressed one of the many buttons on her motorcycle, and a cartoonish gloved boxing-fist sprang out from one of the handles, and hit her opponent in the arm. He swerved uncontrollably and nearly crashed his bike.

He was finally able to regain control to see Harley racing off into the night. He swore and hurriedly tried to catch up to her. Harley quickly turned a rounded corner to see the drawbridge to Wayne Enterprises being drawn up to let a boat pass. She hesitated. The sound of a motorcycle roared behind her, and she saw the man catching up to her.

"Looks like the Joker's little pet isn't so tough after all!" he called to her. "I guess he has poor judgment when it comes to women!"

That was it. No one insulted her Puddin'. No one. Especially some guy who goes into _his club_. This guy needed to show some respect.

He had nearly caught up to her now, but she revved her engine and sped off towards the moving bridge. It was growing taller and taller, but Harley did not stop. She reached the bridge and pushed the engine harder as she inclined higher and higher.

Her wheels left the ground, and time seemed to stand still for one moment. For one second, Harley could see all of Gotham, glittering and twinkling like the stars in the darkness of the night.

The other half of the bridge was suddenly right before her, and her tires met the asphalt with a screech. Harley tightly gripped the handles and let gravity speed her down. Her momentum carried her through the street, and she urged the bike to go faster. She was not going to lose.

She chanced a glance back to see the man catch air, but the bridge was too far. He disappeared behind the bridge and undoubtedly fell into the river below. Harley laughed in pure joy and easily made her way to Wayne Enterprises. She smoothly drove into the parking lot. She parked her motorcycle in a space with a sign marking it as VIP parking. Harley got off her motorcycle and smashed the VIP sign with her handlebar boxing-fist. She picked up the sign and smiled.

WAYNE ENTERPRISES

VIP PARKING ONLY

No one could deny she had won now. Harley happily spun out of the parking lot, her laughter echoing against the cement building as she drove back to the club.

It was only later that next day that Harley realized she would do anything for her Puddin' – even endanger her own life when someone disrespected him.


	20. Game Boy

Game Boy

 **A/N: Hello! Yes, I am still alive. I sincerely apologize for the delay. Life became a bit more crazy than I expected. Thank you all for reading!**

 _Wanna play you like a Game Boy._

 _What's the thrill of the same toy?_

 _Lie down, down._

 _Wanna_ _p_ _lay you like a Game Boy._

 _What's_ _t_ _he thrill of the same toy?_

 _Lie down, down, down._

The Joker laughed manically as he and his men drove away from Arkham Asylum for, hopefully, the last time. Dr. Quinzel had been so easy to manipulate. So easy to tease. So easy to play – just like a game. The Joker burst into another fit of laughter. Out with the old and in with the new. Goodbye Arkham. Goodbye Dr. Quinzel. There were new toys for the Joker to play with in Gotham.

O

He thought everything was over until she found him. Somehow, Dr. Quinzel had found him. He nearly choked on his champagne when she came walking into his club, all business and swagger with a determined look on her face.

The Joker immediately stood up and rushed to her.

He roughly grabbed her arm. "What are you doing here?!" he hissed.

"I needed to see you. I needed to know you were safe."

"Well, I am. Goodbye, Dr. Quinzel," he said as he guided her towards the doors.

She wrenched her arm free. "I love you! Haven't I proven that to you?! You can't just leave me!"

The Joker nodded towards the bouncers and they grabbed her by her arms and dragged her out of the club.

O

He thought it would stop, but it didn't. She relentlessly pursued him. He tried to make it clear to her that she was nothing to him. She was just a toy that he used to get out of Arkham. That didn't stop her. She claimed she still loved him. Nothing he did could cause her to stop loving him. Love. He didn't know what that word meant anymore. He always used "love" to manipulate people. People's affections for one another rendered them weak. That was what love was. And one thing was for certain, no one _loved_ the Joker. No one had sentimental affections for the Joker. He was unlovable. This girl was a fool for thinking she could love him. It was simply impossible.

The Joker had easily reestablished his dominance in Gotham. Everything was nearly perfect, but he felt like he was missing _something_ , but he didn't know what that something was.

The Joker had just made one of the best deals and was walking down the darkened streets of Gotham with Frost. The Joker was pleased with the deal, but he wasn't exactly happy. This was bothering him more than he let on. Not only that, it was happening more and more frequently. He'd do something that should make him burst into roaring laughter, but now it left him feeling empty. It was infuriating.

The Joker and Frost had momentarily stopped in an ally. Frost had gotten a message from one of the men back at the club that the Bat was back at his old antics. The Joker was in no mood to be caught by the dark-clad vigilante tonight.

As they waited, a young couple walked by the ally, holding each other's hands and happily talking to each other. Out of nowhere, rage ignited in the Joker's chest, and without a second thought, he pulled out one of his pistols. He went to the end of the ally and aimed his gun at them. He paused. The Joker didn't need a reason to kill people – joy was as good a reason enough – but he had no idea why he had his gun pointed at the couple. He wasn't happy. There was no thrill to this.

"Boss!" Frost called. "Batman was sighted two blocks from here."

The Joker stared at the couple once more. "Let's go," he growled.

O

She came to him again, but this time he didn't turn her away. Maybe there was still some fun to be had with this toy. Perhaps once she was gone, he could finally live in peace again.

She walked determinedly into the club yet again, and the bouncers immediately moved to stop her. Normally, the Joker would have ordered his bouncers to have used more violent means on unwanted customers, but he didn't with her. He said it was because she had helped him out of Arkham.

The bouncers grabbed her.

"Wait," the Joker said. "Let her in."

The exchanged a surprised look but obeyed.

Harleen walked up to him and smiled, "I knew you'd let me in."

"I haven't done that just yet," the Joker said. "There's one last thing I need you to do."

"Anything."

The Joker put an arm around her shoulders and guided her out of the club and into one of his cars. She got into the passenger side and looked at him excitedly.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

The Joker waved a finger and tutted, "It's a surprise."

Her eyes lit up, and the Joker laughed. She was so easy to please.

She waited in quiet anticipation the entire ride until they reached an abandoned factory. She shifted uneasily.

"Having doubts, are we?" the Joker asked.

Harleen steeled her gaze, "No."

The Joker stepped out of the car and then went over to her side and opened the door. He led her outside and to the entrance of a building that read Ace Chemicals.

"What is this place?" Harleen asked.

"This is where it all began. Are you ready to begin, Dr. Quinzel?"

Harleen smiled, her eyes sparkling, "Yes."

"After today, everything will change."

Harleen hugged him.

The Joker smiled and led her into the factory. Hopefully, by the time this day was done, he would be rid of Harleen Quinzel.

 **A/N: The chemical bath scene is by far my favorite scene in Suicide Squad. I hope I didn't ruin it by adding my musings.**


	21. Sweet Serial Killer

Sweet Serial Killer

 **A/N: This is the last chapter. Thank you all for reading and your kind reviews!**

 **I would especially like to thank Tori Quinn for always leaving a kind review – you've really helped keep me going and encouraging me.**

 **I apologize for the very last segment – I guess it's kind of cheating – but I hope you enjoy my addition to that scene.**

 **Anyway, thanks again for reading, and I hope the last chapter won't disappoint!**

 _You can see me_

 _Drinking cherry cola,_

 _Sweet serial killer._

The Joker stormed into his house. They had taken her! It had only taken him five minutes to prepare a break-in to Arkham. That was when Frost got the message that she wasn't in Arkham. His Harley Quinn had been taken, and he didn't know where she was.

"Who did this?!" he shouted angrily, knocking the contents of a table onto the floor.

An opened soda can happened to be one of the things on the table, and cherry-red soda fizzed into the carpet.

That had been a good day. He and Harley decided to knock up any stores that appealed to them. Harley had been having the time of her life as they had sped through town, guns blazing, wind whipping though her hair, her smile and laughter crazier than they'd ever been. They had finished the night off by stealing all of the junk food out of a nearby Wal-Mart. Completely impractical, but that was the point.

The Joker pounded his fist on the now-clear table. He would get her back.

 _I left a love note,_

 _Said you know I love,_

 _The thrill of the rush._

It had been weeks – _weeks_ – since Harley had been taken, and the Joker was more ruthless than ever. Everyone already knew to fear the Clown Prince of Crime, but now nobody even came close to disrespecting him.

The Joker smoothly walked into one of his many secret houses, "Frost, make an appointment to meet that client again." The Joker smiled, "He was so easy to do business with."

"Of course," Frost obliged.

The Joker paused, "Any word on Harley?"

"Nothing new yet. However, we did find an unmarked vehicle leaving Arkham the day after she was apprehended."

"That's not good enough."

Frost changed the subject, "I was looking through some old paper work, and I found this."

Frost handed the Joker a pink envelope. The Joker turned it over to see "Puddin" written with elaborate curls in sparkly, purple ink. He gave Frost a look and then went to his room and immediately opened the letter.

 _Puddin,_

 _I wasn't sure how I should give this to you, so I just hid it with some of your old papers. They seemed boring. You should get out more and have more fun. Just saying._

 _Anyway, I just wanted to say I love you! I know you know that, but I just felt like I should write it down. I have no idea when you'll get this. I hope it's soon. You know I'm impatient._

 _Also, can we please, please go rob a store to get some new clothes? All my dresses are so boring now. I love how you get my outfits custom-made and all, but I really do love a good robbery._

 _See ya later!_

 _Harley XOXO_

The Joker stuffed the letter in a nearby drawer and rushed out of the room. He was walking so fast that when he passed Frost, some of the papers on his desk whirled onto the floor.

"Is everything alright?" Frost asked in alarm, assuming the Joker's speed was due to an emergency.

"When I rescue Harley, I can't be wearing this, now can I?" the Joker replied, gesturing to his classy yet casual outfit. "I'm going clothes shopping."

"Shopping?"

The Joker waved a dismissive hand as he opened the door, "Shopping, robbing – same thing."

 _You know I love,_

 _The thrill of the rush._

The Joker crashed into the dinky bar with a laugh and began to mow down mob thugs with the automatic weapons Frost had gotten for them. The thugs hid behind tables and the Joker led the way for his men into the bar. The manager burst from a door behind the bar to see what the commotion was. As soon as he saw the Joker, he paled and immediately tried to go back the way he came.

The Joker shot the doors in front of the manager, and he froze.

The Joker tsked as he slowly approached the manager from behind, "I thought we had a deal here, Gunther."

"W-we do I just – " Gunther stuttered as he turned to face the Joker.

"Shh," the Joker shushed, while gracefully leaping over the bar.

"Look! I'll get you the goods! No need for this!" Gunther shouted desperately as the Joker gently applied the tip of his knife to his neck.

The Joker laughed and spun around, looking back at the bar, "No need for this?!" He laughed again, "Oh, I think there is a need for this. I've proven my point, haven't I?"

"Well, I guess."

The Joker whirled around, "What do you mean?"

The man shrugged nervously, "It was just more convincing last time with your girl, Harley."

"I completely understand," the Joker said with unusual calm.

"…y-you do?"

"I completely understand that you haven't been listening to a word I've said."

"No! No! That's – "

The Joker flicked his wrist and the man immediately put his hands to his throat. Thick, red blood fell between his fingers, and he gurgled into a lifeless heap on the floor.

"You!" the Joker said, pointing to the cowering bartender with his blood-dripping knife. "Get me my goods by Monday, or you'll end up just like him."

The bartender looked at the dead man in fear and nodded vigorously.

The Joker easily vaulted back over the bar and sauntered out the doorway.

"That seemed a bit extreme, Boss," Frost said as they were driving away.

"Don't question my methods."

"We will find her, I promise."

"I know we will. Now, shut up."

 _Sweet serial killer,_

 _Do it for the thrill of the rush,_

 _Love you just a little too much, much._

Harley laughed as they burst through the storefront with the sound of shattering glass. She squealed in excitement as she saw all of the colorful dresses within.

"Oh, Puddin'! This is the best date night ever!" she exclaimed while giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'd knew you'd like it," the Joker replied with a smile. "Pick whatever you want. I made sure the boys would be entertaining the Bat this evening."

"You thought of everything, Puddin'!"

"Anything for you."

She laughed and ran off towards a light blue dress.

The alarms above them began to blare. The Joker looked up in annoyance, but noticed none of the lights were flashing.

"Puddin', what's wrong?" Harley said worriedly. She walked over and put her arms around one of his.

"Don't you hear that wretched sound?!" he asked in irritation.

Harley looked concerned, "Puddin', there's no sound."

The Joker looked up at the ceiling again and then looked back at Harley, but instead of Harley holding him, it was Batman. The Joker jumped back and slipped on the now slick floor tiles. He felt himself falling through the air and realized he was back at Ace Chemicals. He hit the chemicals with a mighty splash.

The Joker gasped and sat up. He looked around and realized he had been dreaming. He was in his own bed not in Ace Chemicals. Batman was nowhere near him. Neither was Harley.

The Joker angrily grabbed the nearby lamp and threw it across the room. She should _not_ have this kind of influence over him. She was his toy. That's it! Nothing more. Why had her absence become such a burden to him? The Joker grabbed his phone and dialed Frost.

"Boss, what's wrong?" Frost's groggy voice said after the third ring.

"Any news?"

"Uh, what?" he paused. "Oh, you mean on Harley."

"Yes, I mean on Harley."

"Um, no. It's 3:30 am."

The Joker suddenly realized how ridiculous he was being and hung up. That woman was causing him more trouble than he ever thought she'd be. All he wanted to do was forget her, but he only seemed to get more and more determined to find her.

 _Sweet serial killer,_

 _I love you just a little too much,_

 _Love you just a little too much, much._

BANG! The Joker and his men pressed their way through the smoke, easily taking out the guards inside the drab, gray room.

With clockwork precision, he and his guards smoothly moved around the prison cell in the center of the room. They began to saw open the entrance to the barred cage. The lock broke within a matter of seconds, and one of the Joker's men opened the door for him and stood guard while he entered the cage.

The Joker took off his cumbersome mask and watched as Harley's face went from fear to joy as she realized he was alive and had come to rescue her.

He smiled.

"Puddin'!" she blurted in excitement while pulling him into a tight embrace.

"Let's go home," he said.

"You came back for me!" she said, her voice full of surprise and wonder. She pulled out of the embrace just enough to peer into his eyes

"I'd do anything for you," he purred.

"You would even die for me?" Harley asked, recalling the horrible helicopter crash that nearly killed her Puddin'.

"Darlin'," the Joker said, returning her gaze. "I'd live for you."


End file.
